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Emotional Development

Students Journey to New Understanding

Students traverse emotional waters throughout the duration of the course, learning how to cope and deal with difficult things such as death and loss. Many students express fears and anxieties at the beginning of the course, but by the end of the year have an improved sense of confidence and self-esteem in their ability to care for others, physically and emotionally. The experiences they have are life changing, and won’t be forgotten any time soon.

Some students will go on to practice what they’ve learned in their pursuit of careers in the world of medicine, and some will continue to volunteer at hospice homes, but all will enact what they’ve learned dealing with the ups and downs in their daily lives. Students change in unforeseen ways, and many form deep emotional bonds with residents that they never anticipated. Students face the possibility of messing up, the finality of death, but are ultimately inspired by what they’ve seen and learned and take those lessons a step further by emboldening others to follow in their footsteps.

In Their Own Words

Yesterday I didn’t have a shift but I drove out just to say hi to her and see how her week was going. 

– Student Volunteer, Maya Hood

Corey Zhang

“No one wants to talk about death, or how to deal with losing a loved one, or the process of it. This is a really good way to get familiar with it […] get an idea of what to plan out if you are experiencing that at that moment, and it’ll just help you get your life together faster.”

Athena Baronos

“It makes me aware of the conversations I’m having and my actions, and I think that will play into not only my future profession, but just my future social experiences.” 

Connor Ferris

[About a resident]: “She was just really nice and encouraging about everything and just telling me not to worry and she’ll be fine, just do what I have to do.” 

Suzannah Sheeran

“I really wanted to get some hands-on experience, with helping people, I really like to help people with anything really, but especially this… I’m not really scared of dying, but I know that a lot of people are. So I want people to know that there are people there to care for them […] working with people in the vulnerable time of their life.” 

Sarah Smith

“I think it’s an experience that you really won’t get anywhere else, especially at our age, I don’t know any other school that has it. It’s really helpful for building relationships, not only with the other people in our class […] but also understanding how to build relationships with people that you aren’t particularly close to, like the residents or the resident’s families. It just helps you connect with people, in a way that you wouldn’t think you’d need to, unless you took the class.”

Nicholas Schultze

“I have this one resident, her name is Louise […] super sweet and she’s so nice and I sit with her […] she’s always sayng thank you and she’s really thankful that I’m there and it’s just memorable for me.”

Joyce, Kai & Athena

Athena Baronos and Kai DeJesus visiting with a resident at the Advent House, Joyce. Photos by Amelia Hamilton

Wanda & Coco

Coco Cai, one the Hospice students, had a strong connection with one of the residents she worked with, Wanda. Here is a letter Coco had written about her time with Wanda.

Hi Cyndi,

When I saw the preview of your email yesterday morning, I was already afraid. I opened the email and could not believe it has already happened. It’s too soon. Even though my teacher, Sybil Prince, has prepared us well on how to deal with a resident’s pass-away, it was still hard, it still is. Wanda was the first and only resident that I’ve really connected with since I started volunteering at Benincasa. All I could think about all day was Wanda’s smile and the way she waved to me when she saw me coming in for my shift. I remember last Wednesday, she said to her sister and sister-in-law after seeing me first stepped in “this is Coco!” I was more than surprised seeing her remembering my name and introducing me to her family. Later on during that shift, she kept offering me pie and cookies, like what she always did. Another volunteer made signs that say “Wanda’s Bakery” and “Sold Out” etc. When Wanda saw these signs, she laughed “the business is going to be closed soon”. We told her, we will be sad then, because we love her. She responded “I love you, you , and you! (pointing fingers at us) I love all of you. You are all good people.” And then she joked about how she should pass the business onto me so there will be no taxes. How smart! This was just one of the many cute stories with our angel, Wanda. I loved her sincerely, and I still do. I am SO glad and feel more than privileged to get to know such a beautiful and amazing lady like her. Her words and spirit will keep inspiring me to become an even better person and to live my own life to the fullest.

Love,
Coco

 

Student Anecdotes about Residents

“We did an aging simulation in which we would put tape around our joints to simulate arthritis, we would put little rocks you would put in an aquarium in your shoes to simulate nerve pain, we had glasses with vaseline to fog our vision, we had to breathe through a straw, we had earplugs. That really helped me kind of understand how they’re feeling, because personally my grandmother, she’s elderly, she’s getting older, and she has arthritis, so I didn’t really know how she felt like as she’s walking around my house or trying to go in her car… because she’ll take quite a time to try to sit down, and just how much pain she’s in. And she really, along with residents, to understand what they’re going through, or a fraction of what they’re feeling. And to be able to sympathize with them.”

-Athena Baronos

“I met the two residents, and one of them took a liking to me I guess, her name was Claire… she’s very religious, and she’s like, ‘I can sense there’s something in you, are you Christian, do you go to church? And I was like, “Well I used to, but I don’t anymore. My parents made me and I just don’t like church, it’s boring.” And she started singing all these hymns, and praying […] she asked me genuinely, “Why are you helping me here, I’m dying,” and I told her […] ‘I really want to be there for people,’ and I don’t know, she actually got into my head somehow. And so I went to church the next day, it was still very boring, but it was like, I don’t know, she left something with me.”

-Suzannah Sheeran

“We had a resident, her name was Joan, and she had just that day brought in her musical clock, where every hour it played a different song, it was very loud. So every time I came to the room, she was like, ‘Oh, Sarah, press the clock, do the clock.’ Every time I went in the room it was because we had new volunteers coming in, and she was like, ‘Oh, gotta show them my new clock!’ She was really happy about that.”

-Sarah Smith

“In my homes, I had one resident who, he was was pretty uncomfortable and we had to give him his PRNs and his medications and stuff. And he would just, he would like to make these little noises and these little faces and just go ‘Aaahh… so good.’ And he loved the Beatles, Toby loved listening to the Beatles, so one day we just turned it up so the whole house was just playing the Beatles. And we were just sitting there, and we started talking, and it was so great, I could not stop smiling listening to him.”

-Rory Sommerville

“[My most memorable moment] was with Linda. She has bone cancer, so all her bones, all her body usually hurts too much, a lot. But she always managed to get out of bed, put on some lipstick, get some curls set. So on one morning shift I got there and she was putting her clothes on, a new sweater, it’s a pink one. And she was putting on lipstick, and she was like, ‘Nikole, could you help me do my curls please?’ I was like, ‘Okay, sure.’ We ended up spending almost a whole shift, four hours, trying to do her curls. And it was amazing.

-Nikole Fandino

“My first resident, he was unconscious most of the time that I was there, but before he died there was… usually there’s like a tear or something from their eye, but I’ll wipe it up with a special rag and fold it up and put it in a box and give it to their family, and it made me smile because it touched them a lot and so that’s it. That’s a good thing. I really like that.”

-Nicholas Schultze

“We have a resident named Anne right now at the Shepherd home, she’s 69 years old and she really likes video games, which right off the bat was surreal, because I was talking to a hospice patient about Sonic the Hedgehog. But we got talking about Rochester and I asked if she’d lived here long, and she got the biggest smile on her face and said, ‘born and raised’ in such a proud voice, and you know senior year and all that a lot of people are ready to leave Rochester, and so meeting someone who was so genuinely proud to have lived here, just really left an impact on me.”

-Maya Hood

“So the tattoo that I have is of an ampersand, and it’s partially influenced by the conversations we’ve had in this class, and the ways in which I’ve interacted with residents. It kind of reminds me of what the future could be and of the things I get to hope for, and I have the privilege of hoping for, and the fact that the future isn’t set in stone and I could think about that, and the fact that residences can still crack jokes and be optimistic about tother people, not even just themselves near the ends of their life, I think just makes me optimistic and makes me kind of want to […] be able to follow my dreams. And what I feel is my purpose, kind of in remembrance of that and in honor of that, and honor the fact that even then they were able to find hope, I think I just want to be able to find that hope myself.

-Kai DeJesus

“[…] talking to the residents at the homes… since they’re nearing the end of their life, it’s the perfect t time to share their story, share wisdom they want to pass on. Honestly, it’s really fun hearing what they went through, what they want to tell us, what stories they have.”

“[One resident] was a World War II and Korean War vet. He was still very energetic when he got in, like he was eating loads, he was laughing, he was joking around a lot, he was being loud. Which was honestly really fun, he was really fun to be a round, he was fun to talk to as well.”

-Corey Zhang

“When we were moving [the resident], she couldn’t quite explain how she wanted to be positioned but she said something that was just, it was funny and cute and I’m going to remember it for a long time, she described it as she wanted to look like a hot dog. She wanted pillows on either side of her, but she couldn’t think of the words to say that.”

-Connor Ferris

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College Counseling

Harley’s Approach to College Counseling is highly individualized and student-centered. Students have direct access to college counselors throughout their Upper School experience, but really, each student is part of a team including faculty, administration, and staff. It’s our job to support each student and we want nothing more than to send students on to the next step of their journey at a right fit school for them. The student centered and driven process is wrapped in care, expertise, and professionalism.

We host college reps during times students are available (no need to miss a class) so they can make connections and learn more about potential schools. We also arrange campus visits for classes as field trips, host an alumni college day (where recent Upper School graduates return to share advice and answer questions), and help connect students with our international alumni network. In fact, representatives from schools all over the world actively seek opportunities to come to Harley and meet with our students!

Our college counselors are accredited and are part of national/global conversations on admission trends. They also attend and present at conferences across the country.

Beginning with our Grade 11 parent night, we offer informational sessions for parents, including one devoted just to financial aid. Our partnership with families is critical, as the college admissions world changes very quickly and having an expert to guide students and families through the process is essential.

View the downloadable College Counseling Guide

Clubs

“Club Rush” is an afternoon every fall in the Upper School when students have the chance to sign up for clubs for the year, and each year it is very different because new clubs are created based on student initiative and enthusiasm.

A few of this year’s choices: Sports Media, Social Action Club, Journalism Club, Feminism Club, Student of Color & Allies (SOCA), Gay-Straight Alliance, Tri M (music honor society), E-Sports Club, Euchre, Key Club (service), Animation Club, Dungeons & Dragons, Sustainability Club, Jewish Cultural Club, Astronomy Club, Biomimicry, and Beyond Soup (social justice/service).

Athletics

​Each and every year, students at The Harley School participate in HAC Athletics, and their success continues to be impressive, both as students and athletes. Our athletic program is an integral part of Harley, teaching student-athletes invaluable lessons about teamwork, time management, persistence, and competition.  Our program allows them to develop physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally as they represent their school on and off the field. They grow, mature, and work hard to be the best teammate they can, while creating lifelong memories with teammates who often remain friends for life. 

Helping our athletes to reach their potential are some of HAC’s best assets: our coaches. More often than not, they are drawn from the ranks of our faculty and  have a deep understanding of the personalities and abilities of the student-athletes on their teams.  

We strive to find the right balance of academics, exercise, and personal growth for everyone.  By offering a variety of sports at many different levels, all student-athletes find a sport they can be successful in. It is with great pride and pleasure that my team and I work to enrich the athletic lives of all our HAC student-athletes. Go Wolves! 

To learn more check out our athletics page.

Student Leadership

Our Upper School is filled with formal and informal opportunities for students to take on leadership roles. Whether following passions or learning new skills, student-driven opportunities take many shapes.

– Independent study: one trimester, full year, and multi-year projects have included automating our solar chimneys, coding handmade musical instruments, or developing a class on financial literacy for underserved high school students.

– Serving on student council

– STEM: Climate curriculum program, biomimicry program, NASA Hunch program

Clubs

“Club Rush” is an afternoon every fall in the Upper School when students have the chance to sign up for clubs for the year, and each year it is very different because new clubs are created based on student initiative and enthusiasm.

A few of this year’s choices: Sports Media, Social Action Club, Journalism Club, Feminism Club, Student of Color & Allies (SOCA), Gay-Straight Alliance, Tri M (music honor society), E-Sports Club, Euchre, Key Club (service), Animation Club, Dungeons & Dragons, Sustainability Club, Jewish Cultural Club, Astronomy Club, Biomimicry, and Beyond Soup (social justice/service).

Hospice

Unlike this class, death is not an elective. Although it is one of two universal human experiences, our culture often ignores, denies, or misconstrues the true nature of death and dying. What happens when we bear witness to this natural process in the cycle of life and develop our ability to be fully present with others when they need us more than ever? It has the potential to change us deeply and fundamentally while shining a brilliant light on the path of our own lives.

With the support of their classmates, teacher, and comfort care home communities, senior students are offered the chance to care for others who truly need their purposeful, non-judgmental attention. In the home-like setting of a comfort care home, opportunities for learning extend beyond a traditional classroom rubric and conventional methods of evaluation. In this course, students will certainly find tangible “learning outcomes” by studying the medical/physical processes associated with dying and the basic nursing assistant skills of comfort care. The ultimate goal, however, will always be rooted in true relationships and connection, which occurs only through empathy and compassion.

Learn more about the Hospice Program at Harley HERE.

Capstone/Independent Studies

This program utilizes environmentally-focused approaches to education and hands-on learning in order to foster the next generation of leaders through a lens of sustainability and problem-solving.

Food & Farm: These year-long and trimester-long classes are held outside as much as possible, allowing students to become leaders in our various growing spaces. They cover environmental justice issues as well as hands-on work such as planning and overseeing planting, harvesting, and preparation of the gardens.

Past year-long focus projects have included: Creating a native plant shade garden in the Wild Wood area, redesigning our hydroponic system, overhauling Harley’s high tunnel, and improving the irrigation system for the MicroFarm.

Culinary Arts: These classes have a two-fold purpose: to give students practical skills in cooking and the science behind different techniques in the kitchen, learning about food justice, food sourcing, labor topics, and sustainability.

Past topics have included: Examining a plant-based diet, looking at the carbon footprint of different meals and food preparation methods, proposing a low carbon footprint menu to the dining hall, links between food labeling and environmental issues of food production.

Beekeeping: This one trimester class provides hands-on training in beekeeping, how to be a beekeeper, and safety and other techniques for working with bees. Once trained students help with all aspects of Harley beekeeping such as hive inspections, honey collection and extraction, and teaching students in Lower School about our hives.

Students pick a research topic addressing honeybee health and the larger environmental picture.

Social Justice

At Harley, our students learn how to evaluate social systems in order to identify complex problems in society through a lens of social justice. They take a hands-on approach to working for a fair, equitable society by researching, exploring and evaluating different perspectives, and offering solutions—both theoretical and practical.

Our faculty integrate social justice into our broader curriculum to assist students in gaining a foundational knowledge about what makes a democracy function. By gaining skills in ideating supportive pathways they become more exposed and experienced to how communities can undergo healing and restorative actions.

 

Capstone/Independent Studies

Students may create independent studies with supervising teachers throughout their Upper School experience or, during Grade 12, they can design Capstone projects—intensive collaborations with Harley faculty and off-campus mentors—involving rigorous academic study and culminating in public presentations. They are empowered to create their own curriculum, set goals, and work on time management skills in order to accomplish their objectives.

Independent Studies run the gamut from The Psychology of Sports to Furniture Design to The Neuroimaging of Alzheimer’s Disease. Capstones, meanwhile, are as diverse as the students who pursue them: Fictional Rochester, Autobiographical Art, Biomimicry Education, Organic Fuel, and Rochester Refugees. 

Indicative of Upper School curiosity and creativity, pursuits such as these distinguish our graduates in college. Through deep dives of this sort, Harley students master more than speaking, writing, and computing: they learn to communicate, advocate, collaborate, organize, listen, and empathize. 

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